It was a weekend to remember

We’re still standing, by God’s grace. Steeve and I talked about that last night. In a time when so many ministries in Haiti are having to scale back operations or cease to exist, Haiti Awake continues to move forward. We feel so blessed and so thankful.

The party on Saturday was a testament to the kindness of God in the midst of unspeakable difficulty, a time to forget all that’s taking place around the country and simply focus on celebration.

Vorb was an amazing MC. Hosting an event is truly a gift he has. I was amazed by the attention to detail the staff gave to planning. Everything from decorations to table attendants to entertainment to food was on point.

The days ahead are uncertain, but we will continue to trust in the faithfulness of God, believing He is writing a story far better than one could envision for ourselves.

Walking down memory lane

On Saturday we will celebrate Haiti Awake’s 10th birthday. 10 years. Glwa pou Bondye.

This morning I am looking through old photos, and once again I am reminded of the goodness of God through all of the hills and all of the valleys.

We had no idea where this journey would take us. The joy and the sorrow. But how thankful I am for it all.

The gift of knowing

I’ve spent the last few days in an area of the USA that’s very different from where I live, both in landscape and culture. And it has stretched me. Quite a bit. The people around me don’t see the world the way I do. I’m in the minority.

I have been reminded once again of the gift of Haiti, the gift of knowing more than my own backyard, the gift of meeting new friends who’ve helped me look at the world from different angles, recognizing that there is something to learn from each place you visit and each person you meet.

“True love flows out of mutuality, where we blur the lines between those who are serving and those who are receiving, and where we humbly acknowledge that we all have something to offer and something to receive from one another. ”

— Craig Greenfield

He Won’t Fail

I walked into morning worship a few minutes late because I had been talking with a friend downstairs. As I waited my turn to enter, the moment captured my heart as I heard believers who’ve walked through fire sing from their hearts. And despite the fears that still surround the country, the gate stood open - just as it does every week - a testament to their belief that Christ is the firm foundation.

A new friend

The tender mercies of our Father.

Boarding a flight from Dayton to Charlotte, the man in front of me was asked the standard exit row question about assisting in an emergency. He looked confused, and I knew. He doesn't speak English, and he's Haitian. So I jumped in to translate for both him and the gate agent. After boarding, I went to him and told him I was sorry for the way some people are talking about Haitians right now. I told him that I love Haitians. I told him Haitians are some of the best people I know. And he smiled. Broadly.

After we landed in CLT, I waited for him, inviting him to join me in the lounge for a bite to eat. There we talked, and he freely shared his story. And I felt honored that he was willing to tell me of his journey.

I just left him at his gate - C10 - and I walked on to mine - C17.

And right now my heart is praising the Lord for giving me a few minutes with a fellow traveler named Eliden.

Haitians have my heart.

Paris 2024

People everywhere are draped in their nation’s flags this week in Paris, but it brought me the greatest joy to see this family Saturday, wearing the Haitian flag.

Their little girl was beyond thrilled when I took out my own Haitian flag and we took some photos together.

Lakay se lakay.

Where do I start this story?

I think back to 2014 when Steeve first applied for his U.S. visa. “Everyone” told us he wouldn’t get it … for so many reasons. But, he applied. We prayed. We believed. And as Steeve said when he called me that morning in March, 2014 after this appointment, “We have victory.”

Steeve made his first trip to the United States on August 4, 2014. Since then, he’s traveled here a number of times. In fact, he’s traveled so often that when I recently asked him how many times he’s entered the U.S. he said, “I have no idea.”

The U.S. visa renewal in 2019 was easy, straightforward. But then everything changed in Haiti, and beginning in 2022, we started to wonder if it would even be possible for him to get his visa renewed again. The “usual way” of renewing wasn’t an option anymore.

His U.S. visa would expire in January 2025, so we began thinking ahead.

That’s one of the reasons we took that trip to Israel last year. We wanted to use Steeve’s U.S. visa while he still had it. In fact, we made a number of travel plans with “if you can’t leave Haiti again, at least we have . . .”

Then in October of 2023, I was in Washington, DC, with my daughter-in-law, Hannah, and her mom. One of the things we did was tour the Capitol through the office of Senator Thom Tillis. Sitting in Senator Tillis’ office, I overheard a staffer say something on a call that led me to ask, “Could I explain a situation to you and see if this is something the senator’s office could help us with?” And the response was yes. So I shared Steeve’s situation and how Haiti Awake, a NC-based 501(c)(3), benefits from his ability to travel to the United States.

After that, one e-mail led to another and then a call with the Deputy Director of Constituent Services in December. Steeve was visiting when she called, so we were both able to be on the call and hear her advice which came down to this: Find a US Embassy willing to see you in a country other than Haiti.

As it turns out, that’s easier said than done. There are a limited number of appointments worldwide, as well as a limited number of places Steeve might be able to travel with a Haitian passport. In the end, we had settled on either Kingston, Jamaica or Tel Aviv, Israel.

However, with the Port-au-Prince airport closed for nearly three months, we went from having sufficient time to work on getting the visa renewed to practically no time to do it because the current visa expires on January 7, 2025, and one of the stipulations to renewing a US visa in a country not your own is that the applicant must be seen at an Embassy more than 6 months before that expiration date. When Steeve arrived in the US on June 3, we realized we were racing against the clock because July 7 was the deadline.

Initially, we were unable to secure an appointment in Kingston, but Senator Tillis’ office helped us with that. On June 4, we scheduled an appointment at the US Embassy in Kingston, Jamaica for June 27, at 10:30 am, the earliest date that was available.

However, Jamaica required Steeve to have a Jamaican visa to enter, and we were running out of time to secure that, as well.

In fact, my husband, Rick, hired G3 Visas Global Services to take Steeve’s application for a visa to the Jamaican Embassy in Washington, DC, because we could not secure an appointment on our own for the visa to Jamaica in the needed timeframe. (All of this visa talk is confusing, isn’t it? We were trying to get Steeve’s US visa renewed, but he also needed a visa from the Jamaican government to enter Jamaica.)

After a great deal of back and forth, including multiple phone calls to PICA in Jamaica, Steeve’s visa to Jamaica was secured on June 21.

On June 25 Steeve and I left for Kingston, and the rest of the story is fairly uneventful.

We arrived as scheduled, spent June 26 exploring Jamaica, and though his appointment was scheduled for 10:30 on June 27, Steeve went to the Embassy early, about 8 a.m., expecting to wait in the long line that had already formed outside. However, roughly an hour later he was back at the apartment where we were staying with news of “success!”

We were happy to spend the rest of the day exploring on a rainy day in Kingston and having a celebratory meal.

Though we were told it might take a week or longer to have the actual visa in hand, at his appointment he was given a pickup date of July 1.

However, yesterday, June 28, Steeve received an email stating his US visa was ready for pickup.

This process is finished until the expiration date five years from now. We are so thankful for all of the people who helped along the way and all of you who were praying.

• Special thanks to Lauren and Brian at G3Visas for their attention and patience in helping us secure the visa for Jamaica. It was a stressful process with a tight timeline, but they were with us every step of the way.

• Special thanks to Miss James in the visa office in Kingston who helped us navigate last-minute specifics required by the Jamaican government.

• Special thanks to my husband, Rick, who helped Steeve fill out the DS-160 to apply for the US visa renewal and took care of most of the details surrounding the trip to Jamaica (and listened to me stress-out about this for most of the month of June).

• Special thanks to Ms. Osborne in Senator Tillis’ office who cheered us on and was one of our first calls after Steeve received a “yes” at the Embassy in Jamaica.

Special thanks to all of you who reached out day-by-day for updates, reminding us that you were praying and cheering us on.

And as you have heard us say so many times through the years for reasons too numerous to count, “Glwa pou Bondye.”

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Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20

And We're Off ...

… and hoping to share exciting news soon.

When Will I Return to Haiti?

While I feel quite stuck here in Wilmington right now, not knowing when I'll return to Haiti, I am continuing to take advantage of the stillness of the morning.

Our capacity to do the work of ministry is very limited, but to do the work of God in our own strength is impossible. What God wants done in the world takes the resources He provides. Those resources are only found in Him. They cannot be accessed in books, and they can’t be taken home in a goody bag from the next conference. There is no substitute for time with God.

Keith Stewart

Time to reflect

I will reflect on all You have done and ponder Your mighty deeds.

Psalm 77:21

For the first time ever

I should be at the airport this morning. I had my ticket.

For weeks, I have been asked when I would return to Haiti, and here’s how I had answered:

• When the PAP airport opens

• When I feel peace from God

• When Steeve says yes.

But it never occurred to me that I would be hearing yes and Steeve would be hearing no. We’ve always been in agreement on things.

After much prayer, I had purchased a ticket for today. It seemed to line up perfectly. American Airlines started flying yesterday. I had determined a while back I really didn’t want to be on the first flight back, but being on the 2nd flight seemed reasonable.

In fact, last week I had packed my first checked bag as it seemed more and more likely American Airlines would actually fly as scheduled, after canceling earlier re-start dates.

But then on Tuesday, in a staff meeting, I mentioned coming on Friday, and Vorb’s reaction was strong, so strong that I grabbed a pen and wrote down what he said:

“I don't like the atmosphere of the country. Because of the love I have for you, I want us to be cautious. The country is like a bomb. It may seem calm right now, but we don't know what is cooking.”

Later in the day, at the end of English class, Widecherline asked me, “When are you coming to Haiti?” and, before I could even respond, the two adults on the call jumped in to say that it was not a good idea to come, that they would not be in favor of that.

And then on Tuesday night, Steeve and I talked, and I was surprised to hear him say, “Don’t come right now.” He’s never said that before.

Earlier in the day I had asked a Haitian friend who is not a part of Hait Awake what he thought about my returning to Haiti this week, and this is what he said:

“Of course, it's a movie quote because it's me🤣.

‘You can break something in two seconds. But it can take forever to fix it. A lifetime, generations. That's why we have to be careful on this earth and gentle.’

The relationship I have seen you build in Haiti is so, so precious, Becky. That's why your decision has, to some extent, involve their thoughts and feelings on it; unfortunately, in some seasons, they get the last word on what is done.”

And it’s true. I’ve always said that I would listen to the advice of our local partners and do what they say in a situation like this. Now is my chance to live that out - even though it still doesn’t “feel right” to me.

Therefore, today I will continue to love across the miles via Google Meet and be thankful for the ways we do have to stay in touch, even when we can’t physically embrace.

But that doesn’t mean it’s easy because everything in me feels like I am supposed to be in Haiti today.

Sunday, May 26

So many of you have shown compassion this week.

Thoughts as we start a new week

Lord, to be rooted in place takes commitment to land, to people, to friends and family, to transients in our community, and to the plight of our neighborhoods.

Being rooted is no easy task, but You demonstrated such rootedness in Your incarnation. Give us courage to take up the hard task of knowing You while standing in place. Amen.

From The Book of Common Prayer

Because of dignity

I was recently having a discussion with Vorb in which he said some profound things. Vorb is a deep thinker, and he often challenges my thinking on issues by bringing a perspective to the table I had not yet considered.

On this particular day we were discussing the tremendous difficulties our organization continues to face day-by-day as we struggle to do what needs to be done in the community we know we have been called to serve.

Vorb reminded me once again that he makes certain decisions in his life “because of dignity.” I can’t get that phrase out of my head.

Because of dignity, certain stories are mine to carry, but not mine to tell.

Dignity. Perhaps it matters more today than ever.

Has it been worth it?

I’ve kept this image as the lockscreen on my phone for many years now. I remember this morning so well, the tears, the pain, the “what ifs”, the agony of waiting for a day we weren’t even sure would ever come.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, has been easy about these 11 years of knowing and loving 13 children whose lives were marked by suffering and pain and loss long before they even knew there was a life other than the one they were living.

Many of the children have grown up and are on their own now, and every now and then I hear from one of them. Their lives have taken them in different directions. I often ask myself, “Was all of the time worth it? Was all of the pain worth it?”

On a morning like this, a simple text exchange reminds me that, yes, it was - and it still is.

Today is Hudson’s birthday

Two years ago we were gathered together to celebrate Hudson’s 3oth birthday. Earlier in the day we had heard that there were problems in the street, which was unusual, given it was a Sunday.

Although we enjoyed our time together very much, the celebration was cut short, as everyone had to head home to Tabarre 14. And that was the beginning of a long, hard week, what was to be the hardest week to that point for Tabarre 14.

As I looked back through photos today, trying to find a few of Hudson to share in a Happy Birthday greeting on Facebook, I was reminded of all that has been lost in the last 6 years, how the early days of Haiti Awake now seem like the glory days of Haiti, how a city went from being a place to explore to being a prison that is holding its inhabitants captive.

Haitians often say, “Depi tèt pa ko koupe, li espere met chapo” which essentially means that as long there is life, there is hope.

And so today, as I celebrate Hudson across the miles, I will continue to hope for better days for Haiti and for those there whom I hold so dear.

Proximity

Being in proximity to physical suffering when you yourself are not physically suffering is an emotional suffering that defies words or explanation.

The highlight of my day is seeing these faces. The hardest part of my day is seeing these faces.

How thankful I am for technology that allows us to stay connected even though the miles between us seem to grow further with each passing day.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be

We had our weekly senior leadership meeting Monday morning.

Before we wrapped up, I asked Vorb and Steeve if there was anything either of them would like to say.

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to be,” Vorb said.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. Those words have run through my thoughts all day.

"We’re waiting on what’s coming, but we don’t know what’s coming,” he continued.

“I have my hope on God. He’s a good father. He has a plan.”

Once again, I am humbled to even have the privilege to have a conversation with my friends in Haiti.

I have so much to learn from them.

People. Not Statistics.

It’s been my habit for years to search out news on Haiti on a daily basis. These days, however, there’s no need to search, as Haiti is a leading story with most mainstream American media outlets.

These news stories give many statistics. Here are just a few I’ve read recently.

“Whoever has been able to grab power has been able to control what happens to Haiti’s 11.7 million people.”

”Violence has displaced more than 300,000 people.”

“Nearly 4,000 inmates fled Haiti's main prison.”

“About 1.4 million Haitians are on the verge of famine, and more than 4 million require food aid, sometimes eating only once a day or nothing at all.”

“The U.S. Agency for International Development said that around 5.5 million people in Haiti — nearly half the population — need humanitarian aid.”

“80 percent of Port-au-Prince is currently controlled by gangs, according to UN estimates.”

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I am reminded of a quote from More or Less: Choosing a Lifestyle of Excessive Generosity by Jeff Shinabarger:

“Statistics are one thing, but friends are another. Numbers may challenge your mind, but faces will soften your heart. And names will stick with you over time.”

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These are the hands of some of the young men at CERMICOL we know and love. They are not statistics.

This is my friend, Anora, who has lived more than 80 years. He has seen many things in his lifetime, and he is a gentle, wise soul.
He is not a statistic.

This is my friend, Soiris. He works in the street and has the best smile. He has taught me a great deal about human dignity and the way a community can transform someone’s life.
Soiris is not a statistic.

This is Hudson. There aren’t many photos of Hudson because he’s always taking photos of the rest of us. Hudson is a phenomenal photographer, and he’s been a faithful friends for many years.
Hudson is not a statistic.

Judely and Jerry are best friends and always full of joy. They are sponsored by two of my family members, so I always try to take a photo with them when I am in Haiti.
They are not statistics.

This is Yvenson. When I get a hug from Yvenson, I know I have been hugged. His hugs are the best.
Yvenson is not a statistic.

This is my friend, Billy J. It always makes me happy to see him at the airport.
Billy J is not a statistic.

This is Handy. He is the one who brought us all together after we met in July 2013.
Handy is not a statistic.

This is Esther Joy, and she is pure joy. Her mom is one of my favorite Haitians.
Esther Joy is not a statistic.

This is JV. He is an inmate at CERMICOL, and he is precious to me.
JV is not a statistic.

And our circle at Haiti Awake includes

many, many more.

People. Not statistics.

We never thought it would come to this

I was talking to Steeve as we do nearly every evening. The heaviness of the day was so real. There was so much to say. There was absolutely nothing to say.

And so I asked the rhetorical question, “We never thought it would come to this, did we?” And, of course, the answer is no. We could never have imagined in days past that we would be having the discussions which are necessary today, discussions that tear at my heart, but discussions we must have, nonetheless.

Ten years ago God made it abundantly clear to both Steeve and me that He wanted us to invest heavily in one little neighborhood in Haiti. And since its beginning in 2014, that’s what Haiti Awake has done. We’ve poured our hearts into our community.

As we face an incredibly uncertain future, we continue to trust that the God who led us in the past will continue to lead us in the future.

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