Updated: 9/5

On September 3, I was once again admitted to the Novant Hosital with extremene nause Again, I had a semi-successful ERCP. As many of you know, I had a rough time last week. But,we’re hoping for better days in the upcoming week.

Writing out a physical message like this today requires a lot of physical and mentally energy. Please respect that and avoid duplicate personal messages until I can have ability to answer.

Disease Progression 8/29

It's been a week of rapid decline. Since returning from NYC, I've spent most of my time sleeping. The weaknesses and fatigue are real.

Though I've made it down to Wrightsville Beach each morning, I'm no longer able to walk. I can stand and look at the ocean.

Lord, every day finds me longing for Home.

Update 8/24

This last week has been another one filled with the highest of highs, as well as some pretty awful lows. But if I had to rank it, I would say this was the best I've felt overall for an entire week since I was hospitalized on July 23.

So many visits from sweet friends last week. So many laughs and hugs and stories to share. I walked on the beach each morning, though one morning I wasn't quite able to make it to Access 2, and I had to ask Rick to pick me up where I was.

I recently had to cancel two scheduled trips because I just wasn’t feeling up to travel, and that made me immensely sad. I wondered, “Will I ever get on a plane again?” Travel has been such a big part of my life, and I just didn’t feel ready to give it up yet. But then there is reality. I am slowing down. I can’t do what I did before. Periods of intense pain and fatigue come on without warning.

Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Maybe for some people New York City doesn’t seem like a gift from God, but, for me, it’s a place I have enjoyed immensely through the years.

I felt so well on Wednesday that I asked Rick to bring me to New York for the weekend. And he did. We've had the best time, despite hours spent in bed here in the hotel yesterday due to uncontrollable pain. But, after 6 hours of pure misery, I was able to get up, resume the day, and we ended up having a great time.

Dinner with an amazing view

I am not a theater person, but I do love Hamilton.

I had to bring my book with me to take a photo like so many friends have sent to me.

Headed home soon with my heart full and more determined than ever to live this out:

I do not know what the days ahead will bring, but I am determined to live them with as much grace and enthusiasm as possible.

My new motto might be: Have wheelchair. Will travel. Where are we off to next?

I’ve recently told friends that when I pass, I hope someone will say, “What? Becky’s gone? I thought she was just in ___________ last weekend.” This is my prayer for myself. I hope you’ll pray that with me. I hope to continue to be “me” until the very end.

Update 8/16

This last week was been a bit of a rollercoaster both emotionally and physically. Deciding to go into hospice in home care changes our focus to my comfort, dignity, and support, as well as assisting my family as we all navigate the road ahead.

Pain management became an issue again this week, but after several painful episodes and another trip to the emergency department we seem to have the right combination of medications currently, and for that I am thankful.

This week marked the beginning of having in-home nursing assistance both from hospice which will come several days a week and from a private nurse who will come daily.

I had some really good moments last week, too, and that is why I say this has been a bit of a rollercoaster. I made it to the beach each morning. Though on some mornings I was slower and not able to walk as far as others, I was there. Being at the beach is part of what makes me “me”, and I do not want to give that up - even though going to the beach can deplete a substantial part of my stored energy for the day.

I am still having conversations, leading Haiti Awake with the help of both the team in the US and the team in Haiti, planning for the future, and booking speaking engagements. In fact, I have two interviews this week to promote Fear Is Not My Future and share about what Jesus is doing in these days. I want to continue to magnify Christ, and right now, people seem more interested in hearing my testimony than at any time previous in my life. I want to steward these opportunities well.

I welcomed many visitors into our home last week (Including my friend, Corey, who stayed with us for four days and was a huge blessing!). More visits are planned for this week. We’re working on a new visitor schedule that will be handled by my nurse aide, and we hope it will help me steward both my time and energy faithfully.

I appreciate your prayers and words of support. I may not always have the energy and time to reply to each card or text, but please know I do read them and feel supported by your thoughtful comments. I especially love seeing my book in creative settings!

Looking into the new week with hopeful anticipation - especially for more time with this sweet pea!

Hospice 8/11

I have entered hospice home care. The last few days have been challenging, and I am thankful for your prayers.

Though I am very slow, I am still finding my way to the beach each morning, and for that I am so grateful.

Today's update 8/7

Today was full of friends and rest, fun surprises, texted photos of my book, and a short walk on Wrightsville Beach at dawn.

I'm going to take a little break from daily updates until there is something significant to share. Just keep checking back here if you're wondering how I'm doing.

Today’s update 8/6

These are difficult days, and despite my desire to continue to “do it all,” I am facing the reality that I cannot. I am thankful for friends who are showing up in unexpected ways. Their kindness touches my heart.

Palliative care gave me a prescription for a second fentanyl patch yesterday, and we utilized those patches in conjunction with high doses of morphine in an effort to get in front of the pain. I am incredibly groggy this morning, as a result, but the intense pain I was experiencing has been brought back to a more tolerable level.

I had plans for this weekend with a few close friends, plans that I no longer have the strength to enjoy, but please pray that these days will be sweet, despite the shift, and that we will be able to enjoy our time together.

Some dear friends brought us a nutritious dinner last night, and Clara, in particular, was thankful.

Unfortunately we got bad news yesterday. The cancer continues to grow at an alarming rate, and even the radiation therapy I received last week did nothing to slow the rampant growth.

These are hard words to say in belief this morning, but I still want to claim them for my life:

I do not know what the days ahead will bring, but I am determined to live them with as much grace and enthusiasm as possible.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

Today’s Update 8/5

Yesterday was a rough day on many levels, but I still managed to spend some sweet time with friends.

Last night we were unable to control my pain, even with the use of additional morphine. Palliative care was able to work me in for an emergency appointment today, and I pray they’ll have answers that will allow me to function in a more normal fashion in the days ahead.

To those I had plans with today, I pray that you understand my need to reschedule.

In good news, I had labs at Zimmer yesterday, and my liver function continues to remain stable.

Thank you for your continued prayers. Christ be magnified.