Today is not that day

Am I on the downside to 55 years? Yes

Do I have active disease? Yes

Am I on Letrozole and Lupron? Yes

Am I facing a liver resection and debulking surgery December 10? Yes.

Did I just run a 10K with my best time in years? Yes

One day I won't be able to do this, but today is not that day.

Letrozole and Running

By and large, my experience with Letrozole has been much easier than anticipated. One of the side effects I had noted was an overly elevated heart rate when running. As this is not a common side effect of Letrozole, my oncologist referred me to a cardiologist who did an echocardiogram. (The results were normal.)

I have recently wanted to run more, and thanks to my daughters-in-law I have found that a run-walk method of running is working well to keep my heart rate in check, while still covering the miles in a timely manner.

We’re doing a half marathon together in just over a week. I can hardly wait, and I am thankful that this small change in how I run has made all the difference in my ability to continue to engage in an activity I love.

I just haven’t regained my stamina

This past week I saw an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in a while, and she shared with me that she had had abdominal surgery. I asked her how her recovery had gone and how she was feeling now, to which she replied: “I just haven’t regained my stamina.”

Those words resonated with me and summed up the way I’ve been feeling lately. I feel absolutely fine . . . but I am not the person I was before surgery in May 2023. I felt the same way after my initial surgery in 2019. I recovered quickly, I felt just fine, but I was never quite the same after that procedure.

I thought through that as I was run/walking around Wrightsville Beach yesterday morning.

I noticed groups of runners out together, a common sight on the weekends, and I thought back to the days when I ran every Saturday with friends. I remembered how easy 10 miles used to feel, how quickly a couple of hours on a Saturday morning could go by.

I have nothing to complain about these days. I’m thankful for the health I am currently enjoying, while always aware that the words “incurable” were spoken to me by my healthcare provider.

I go back to Duke November 13, and I am expecting a good report again. But, if I’m being transparent, I just haven’t regained my stamina.

And I miss it.