I’m going to continue to live

Good morning, Everyone.

It's now been a few days since I went to the ER and finally had to admit the pain I was experiencing was more than I could push through and that over-the-counter medications were no longer enough. The CT scan performed that morning confirmed what my body had already been telling me: the disease is progressing.

In many ways, this was a turning point.

For the first time, I had to acknowledge that this season has changed. I have always avoided prescription pain medication whenever possible, but I also realized something important. Pain management isn't simply about reducing suffering. It's about protecting the things that matter—the things that make me who I am for as long as I am able. Walking Wrightsville Beach in the morning. Heading to Florida over the weekend to work with some of my favorite people at Concilium. Spending time with people I love here in Wilmington. Enjoying the gifts God continues to place in front of me each day.

That realization has been freeing.

Over the last few days, I've been asking the Lord one simple question: "Father, what does faithfulness look like with the time I have?"

I don't know how many days lie ahead. None of us really do. But I know this: today is a gift.

So I'm going to keep writing. I'm preparing my first devotional, Fear Is Not My Future, for publication. I'm continuing work on the second book in the series. I'm making plans for August, September and even Christmas because I would rather prepare with hope than wait with fear. I'll continue to travel as I am able. I'll keep showing up at Wrightsville Beach each morning for as long as my body allows.

I'm going to continue to live.

On the home page of my website are these words: "I do not know what the days ahead will bring, but I am determined to live them with as much grace and enthusiasm as possible."

I needed those words when I wrote them in 2023. I need them even more today.

They remind me of the heart posture I chose when my first recurrence was diagnosed, and they continue to call me back to that same place of trust. I'm also understanding more fully, day by day, that faithfulness is not measured by how long we live. It is measured by how we receive and steward whatever the Lord places in our hands while we have time.

That is what I want to do. I want to steward my life well.

Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts with you.

I continue to believe what I have believed from the beginning.

Fear is not my future.

Christ is.