Disease Progression 8/29

It's been a week of rapid decline. Since returning from NYC, I've spent most of my time sleeping. The weaknesses and fatigue are real.

Though I've made it down to Wrightsville Beach each morning, I'm no longer able to walk. I can stand and look at the ocean.

Lord, every day finds me longing for Home.

Hospice 8/11

I have entered hospice home care. The last few days have been challenging, and I am thankful for your prayers.

Though I am very slow, I am still finding my way to the beach each morning, and for that I am so grateful.

Today's update 8/7

Today was full of friends and rest, fun surprises, texted photos of my book, and a short walk on Wrightsville Beach at dawn.

I'm going to take a little break from daily updates until there is something significant to share. Just keep checking back here if you're wondering how I'm doing.

Today’s Update 8/5

Yesterday was a rough day on many levels, but I still managed to spend some sweet time with friends.

Last night we were unable to control my pain, even with the use of additional morphine. Palliative care was able to work me in for an emergency appointment today, and I pray they’ll have answers that will allow me to function in a more normal fashion in the days ahead.

To those I had plans with today, I pray that you understand my need to reschedule.

In good news, I had labs at Zimmer yesterday, and my liver function continues to remain stable.

Thank you for your continued prayers. Christ be magnified.

Today’s update 8/4

Yesterday was my last radiation treatment, and I had a video visit with Dr. Robinson. I will go to Zimmer for labs today.

Dr. Robinson and I agreed to a “treatment break” to reassess where I am and where we’re going. We are holding off on hospice, continuing with palliative care for the time being. Hospice limits my choices going forward, and I do not want to be unnecessarily limited before I have to be.

I am feeling remarkably better overall, though my periods of energy are incredibly unpredictable. I can feel “just fine” one moment, then feel like I can’t open my eyes the next.

I’m concentrating on eating what I can when I can, and I am hopeful that plans that I have for the next two weeks will become reality.

Sunday is for visits

What a sweet day it was.

I even got out for a bit so that Ashley could freshen up my hair for an important event on Tuesday. It’s still a bit difficult to believe I’ve kept this much hair after all that I’ve been through since early March. I am thankful for this bit of normalcy in life.

Last night was a bit rough with some sleep and pain issues, but overall, it very manageable. Today I am scheduled for radiation and a visit with Dr. Robinson.

Happy Monday, Friends.

Friendship

Last week, I was deeply blessed by visits from three men who live in different parts of the country. One of them wrote this, and with his permission, I am sharing his kind words with you.

“Greater love has no one than this, than he lay down his life for his friends” John 15:13 NKJV

Much has been written on this passage, but I am learning a more simple yet deeper understanding of applying Jesus’ words to my life.

I recently traveled to visit a “friend” who is in a struggle that is beyond her ability to manage on her own. This friend of mine is one of the most capable and driven individuals I have ever met, yet the Lord has strategically positioned her to rely fully on Him and those “friends” and family that He has provided for her.

Upon my arrival, my friend’s lifelong college buddy, Kim, picked me up at the airport, drove me to the hospital, and sat patiently while I sat visiting my friend. Although we had never met, we shared a kinship in our common love for our friend. Kim had dropped everything in a very active life with a family and responsibilities of her own to sit with our friend, help manage the flow of visitors, be a sounding board for ideas and future plans, and look out for the best interests of our friend. Her selfless actions made this verse come to my mind in a vivid, real life, example of what Jesus meant when he defined the greatest form of sacrificial love.

Few of us will ever be called upon to “take a bullet” for a friend or push someone out of the path of an inbound train. But just as Jesus commanded us to “deny ourselves, take up our our cross daily and follow him” (Luke 9:23), He also wants us to “daily” lay down our lives for the people he has put into our path. Living this out means dropping our own agenda to be present for another person and sometimes even allowing others to show us our own selfishness when we think we have a handle on life’s frustrations.

I learn that I should seek out this level of sacrificial friendship in the common events, “daily”, as well as in the major storms of life. I went to visit my beloved friend, to encourage and be present, and returned home with a new perspective and a new friend.

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love” 1 Corinthians 13:13

Friends for the journey

There are friends for the day and friends for the journey, and cancer has a way of clarifying who your people really are.