Friendship
Last week, I was deeply blessed by visits from three men who live in different parts of the country. One of them wrote this, and with his permission, I am sharing his kind words with you.
“Greater love has no one than this, than he lay down his life for his friends” John 15:13 NKJV
Much has been written on this passage, but I am learning a more simple yet deeper understanding of applying Jesus’ words to my life.
I recently traveled to visit a “friend” who is in a struggle that is beyond her ability to manage on her own. This friend of mine is one of the most capable and driven individuals I have ever met, yet the Lord has strategically positioned her to rely fully on Him and those “friends” and family that He has provided for her.
Upon my arrival, my friend’s lifelong college buddy, Kim, picked me up at the airport, drove me to the hospital, and sat patiently while I sat visiting my friend. Although we had never met, we shared a kinship in our common love for our friend. Kim had dropped everything in a very active life with a family and responsibilities of her own to sit with our friend, help manage the flow of visitors, be a sounding board for ideas and future plans, and look out for the best interests of our friend. Her selfless actions made this verse come to my mind in a vivid, real life, example of what Jesus meant when he defined the greatest form of sacrificial love.
Few of us will ever be called upon to “take a bullet” for a friend or push someone out of the path of an inbound train. But just as Jesus commanded us to “deny ourselves, take up our our cross daily and follow him” (Luke 9:23), He also wants us to “daily” lay down our lives for the people he has put into our path. Living this out means dropping our own agenda to be present for another person and sometimes even allowing others to show us our own selfishness when we think we have a handle on life’s frustrations.
I learn that I should seek out this level of sacrificial friendship in the common events, “daily”, as well as in the major storms of life. I went to visit my beloved friend, to encourage and be present, and returned home with a new perspective and a new friend.
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love” 1 Corinthians 13:13
I’ve been praying for you
It happened again this morning as I was walking Wrightsville Beach. I saw someone from The Bridge whom I had never met, so I stopped and introduced myself to him. His response? “You’re Becky Graves? I’ve been praying for you, and I’ve been praying for Haiti Awake, too.”
How humbling that is. How encouraging that is. Over and over I meet people who tell me, “I have been praying for you.” Friends I have known for years remind me daily, “I’m praying for you.”
Friday as I was waiting for my lab appointment and feeling my stress rise, I got a text from a friend, “Praying for good lab results today 🙏.” I cannot tell you how many times I’ve gotten a text like that at just the right moment because someone was listening to the Holy Spirit’s leading.
Friends, have you ever wondered if your prayers matter? I am here to tell you that I am living proof that they do. I feel them every day.
Here’s my challenge to you. Let the Holy Spirit lead your prayers today and reach out to the person you pray for. Let them know you care. Let them know you are praying. I promise you it will mean more than you’ll know.
“Pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”
Countdown to Chemo. The last stop. March 2026.
“God loves us, so He makes us the gift of suffering. Through suffering, we release our hold on the toys of this world, and know our true good lies in another world. We’re like blocks of stone, out of which the sculptor carves the forms of men.
The blows of his chisel, which hurt us so much, are what make us perfect. The suffering in this world is not the failure of God’s love for us; it is that love in action.
For believe me, this world that seems to us so substantial is no more than the shadowlands. Real life has not begun yet.”
CS Lewis
When I went to my December 29 post-op appointment with Dr. Rossi, I brought printed out calendars of January, February, and March. I knew I would be starting chemo sometime after the first of the year, but I wanted to push that out as far as possible, so in a red Sharpie I had written down all of the events I had already planned for the first three months of 2026. I really didn’t believe I would be able to do everything on the calendar, but I thought that by stretching the calendar, she and I might be able to meet in the middle.
Instead, because Dr. Rossi understands my desire pursue quality of life, she was open to my finishing all planned events before starting chemotherapy, the last of which was this week - attending the Risk Management Network meeting in Orlando, Florida.
Tonight, if God wills, I will be back home. Tomorrow I will have surgery for the port placement at 10:30 am.
These 4 days with the RMN have been full of learning and laughs, and I am so thankful I was able to come. My friends even surprised me with a birthday cake, which was very special.
I also had the opportunity to give the opening devotion this morning, and I shared how there is joy in suffering if we fix our eyes on Jesus.
How thankful I am for these last two and a half months of travel that have allowed me to prepare my heart and mind for the days ahead. My first chemo infusion will start at approximately 9 am on Monday. I value your prayers as the day will likely be a long, emotional one.
“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. ”
The gift of unexpected friendship
My new friend, Jeffrey Ritter, shared the following on social media recently. I couldn’t have said it better myself. My life is richer because of people like him I have met on this journey.
So, in the hospital, I was diligently walking laps, but kept finding someone's marker on the lap-board creeping ahead each day. Damn, who was beating my butt?
Well, we met, compared surgical scars (think of the scene in Jaws) and, despite wearing backless surgical gowns, became instant forever friends. Both survivors that will not stop being alive!
There is such strength when we fight together!
