When plans change

Today feels really odd.

Based on the schedule for chemotherapy that was originally laid out, today should have been my last treatment - treatment 6 of 6. I suppose I expected to “ring the bell” today, though I must admit I wasn’t looking forward to that because I knew that finishing 6 cycles of Carbo Taxol wouldn’t be the end of the story.

But then plans changed when my ANC and my platelets went so low after the initial treatment. A three-week delay ensued. That pushed the entire schedule back, so today should have been treatment 5 of 6.

But then came the lab results and the CT scan that showed the cancer has progressed significantly since we started chemotherapy treatment in March. Words like “high histologic grade,” “progressive disease,” and “platinum resistant” now define my disease.

And so I am conflicted. The very thing I fought for seven years became the valley I willingly passed through, but I was extracted from this same valley without actually walking the full length of the path. I never envisioned this being the way the story would play out.

Part of me wishes I were at chemo this morning because that would mean it had been working, and part of me is so glad it’s over. I never believed it would work for me. That’s why I fought going this route for so long. And I was right. But it doesn’t feel good to be right in this case.

I continue to believe that there is more to be learned on this journey, and I am thankful for Biblical wisdom that reminds me today and each day, “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.” Psalm 37:23

None of the twists and turns on the journey have taken God by surprise.

Chemo Round 4. Day 2.

I had no nausea today, and other than needing a 2-hour nap after lunch, my energy level was great, too.

All in all, not a bad day. I was able to go to the beach this morning, and Clara came over to meet Steeve this afternoon.

Thank you to all who have been praying for me.

Round 4. A quick recap in pictures.

I’m tired, and I have so much nausea tonight, so this update will be quick.

We arrived at Zimmer before 7 a.m.

Check in and then off to the port lab to access the port and do labs.

Lab results took longer than expected, and I obsessively checked my watch for updates.

I texted friends as I did laps around the Cancer Center to burn off nervous energy.

Though some lab results like ANC and hemoglobin were low, they were not so low as to delay chemo. So Crystal did my first cap downstairs, and we headed up to the infusion center.

Ethan was working today, and when he got a break, he came over for a quick visit. A highlight today! And… if you were wondering who took all these photos, it was STEEVE! Yes, he’s here!

I had a private room at the center, and I did get rest there, but I was pretty wiped out by the time we got home this afternoon.

Alexandria came over for several hours, and that made the time go so much more quickly and took my mind off the nausea. I am so thankful for her friendship! (I can’t believe how puffy my face is from the steroids.)

Crystal is the best. She capped with me during the last hour, and there’s a story behind that, but that’s more than I want to write because I am ready for bed.

“We set our hope on You
We set our hope on Your love
We set our hope on the One who is the Everlasting God
You are the Everlasting God.”

— William Murphy

Chemo. Round 1. Day 7.

I woke up feeling like myself this morning. I went for a run. Then I walked down the beach. I went to church. I believe the worst of it for round 1 is behind me.

The only odd thing today was food aversion (my usual yogurt and banana) and food craving (eggs with jalapenos).

My next infusion is scheduled for April 6.

Chemo. Round 1. Day 6.

Highs

• Running at the beach this morning

• A sweet “chemo care kit” from Wallaby Windows of Coastal Carolina which just did our window installation in the living room

• Having the coconut kefir that I “like” (Does anyone actually like kefir?)

• Ginger candies from Rachel and lunch with her at Drift

Lows

Persistent low-grade nausea (and yes, I could take Zofran or another one of the three anti-nausea meds that were prescribed, but I would prefer to avoid them as they have their own side effects)

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Chemo. Round 1. Day 5.

Highs

• First Day of Spring

• A walk on the beach

• Time with Clara

Lows

• Bone pain

• Tummy issues

I woke up feeling almost normal today. I opted out of post-chemo steroids as I'm trying to minimize the use of pharmaceuticals as much as I can. I took anti-nausea meds Tuesday and Wednesday night because my oncologist insisted on it, but I didn't like the side effects of the Tuesday night dosage and opted for half that on Wednesday. Half dose wasn’t great, either, so even though I was supposed to take it last night, I decided not to. However, nausea has been minimal today. I find I get nauseous when I'm hungry, so snacks are my friend. 😂

I am experiencing some bone pain, so I got another B12 injection this morning, hoping that will mitigate it to some degree.

This week hasn't been bad, but I recognize there will be a cumulative effect so not expecting each time to be this smooth.

Thank you for caring and for praying. We'll see what the Lord has in store in the days ahead.

Chemo. Round 1. Day 4.

Today’s highs

• Food tasted amazing today. My taste buds were on high-alert!

• A walk at the beach

• Having my hair washed for the first time in nearly a week. (There are very specific rules around washing one’s hair when cold capping.)

Today’s lows. Thankfully both of these had subsided by afternoon.

• Nausea

• Bone pain

I’m hopeful that I will wake up tomorrow feeling more like myself, having the energy to get out and do something.

Chemo. Round 1. March 16, 2026.

4:40 am Wake up and start the day. This includes reading Scripture, writing in my journal, and having a cup of coffee.

5:20 am Do an easy workout while watching a 60 Minutes story about one of my favorite podcasters.

6:15 am Take a walk around the neighborhood and listen to the first half of a sermon.

6:45 I check my bags one last time to make sure we have everything, and Rick applies Lidocaine to the port site, per instructions.

7 am. Breakfast

7:20 am We leave for the Zimmer Cancer Center

7:40 am Port access and labs

8:15 am A quick appointment with Dr. Robinson to review labs. All is well.

8:40 Crystal, my awesome capper, arrived and got right to work educating me about what is ahead. Rick took photos and videos of us both.

9:09 am Pre-meds and cold-capping begin

10:32 am Taxol starts. Icing my hands and feet is far harder than icing my head, surprisingly.

1:00 Ethan visits

1:45 Carboplatin starts

2:17 Finished at Novant. Cold caps are changed every 25 minutes, so we change the cap before heading home.

3:00 pm Home, ready to cap for about 4.5 more hours

All in all, a good day, in spite of it all.

4:45 pm update. Clara is here, and the world is even brighter than it was 5 minutes ago.

“I’m confident as seasons change, His faithfulness remains.”

— Maverick City Music